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May 30, 2005



Doesn't seem particularly half baked to me. I was brought up Christian, but drifted away when I was told in my teens by my vicar that there could be no forgiveness for a friend of mine who committed suicide - there were other reasons too. And now I find during the occasional time I am in a church with friends, that it just doesn't quite speak to me. Going to ponder on whether there are elements of what you have said in my continued disenchantment.

Found you via two red boots btw, but had to struggle to get in, typepad seems to be a bit iffy today.

Caroline Ramsey

Isn't life strange Jax? is it synchronicity? Maggi posted about 'losing ones faith' today over here

For me, I've always felt that we don't tend to lose 'our' faith but someone else's.


Hi Caroline, thanks for commenting: putting two and two together I suspect that you were referring to my post at
http://nouslife.blogspot.com/2005/05/i-want-to-plantgrow-altchurch.html ?
Anyway I've made a reply and ivite you and any of your readers who are interested to take it further if you wish ...


I love that song!


I loved this. It hit all the right spots. The song was beautiful. Thank you for opening up your heart.


Thank you for taking the time to reply to me - very thoughtful of you :)

Ruth S


I kind of see what you mean. Although I do feel that creatively the church is just reclaiming what is rightfully hers. I feel its been missed out and not been important and that's why we end up with samey services. I mean, we don't all not sing because someone has a beautiful voice do we?

And anyway, man looks on the outside, God looks at the heart :-)

Paul Alexander

I love your song!

And I have an observation about the thriving churches in your area, have you checked into urban, poor, pentecostal churches in the UK, US, and majority world?

They're growing by leaps and bounds and leading the growth of Christianity globally, I think even in the UK and US.

Not beautiful, but very very beautiful.

Thanks again for the song, sounds like it could be for the disenfranchised, marginalized, castigated as mad and ugly, pentecostals.


Colin Darling

Bear with me while I review some stuff in conversation with my own thinking! Whatr follws looks like a mini sermon but it connects to the fact that this week I have been demolished by a relative failure in my professional life. I have not been so down and discouraged for a long time. The source of all this was obtaining a merit in a test in which a lot of other people got a distinction. Since I only expected a pass how was it that my pride or whetever was so offended that I punished myself with so much ill feeling about myself?

There is a passage in one of Henri Nouwen's books.
It was written while he was on a long retreat of several months in a monastery.

He started well in this monastic community - or so he thought - and he felt he was making good connections with the monks who had allowed him to share their community.

Then someone went wrong for him. He saw someone else recive the 'special' welcome that he had received and suddenyl he realise he had been treated the same as any other newcomer - and this didn't give him the special feeling he was enjoying - he felt ordinary. He was very upset at this and partly perhaps because he was specially talented and had been widely celebrated for his work in the outside world he took a kind of a kind of offence.

His cousellor-monk or adviser suggested to him that in a monastery it is important not to have favourites. Praising one above another or paying an unequal amount of attention to one over another can cause seeds of jealousy to be sown or discouragement. The truth is we are all equally valuable in God's love. (All this was written up in Nowen's Gennesee Diary)

In the Eden moment we are all naked an innocent of self.
What is it that causes the problem? Maybe its the desire "to
be beyond" or "to know beyond" or "to do beyond" that humility and that innocence.

The Christ in the role of the 'second Adam' calls us back to to a way of being that is not centred on ourselves but in becoming like little children who are not privileged by the wisdom of this world.

For me a way of praying - that links in with other of your threads - is to practice the presence of God by starting with the apprciation that God loves me. Whether I am amazing or not it is centred in his love. Dwelling in and returning that loving appreciation enables a very different relation with the all the world ... My sense of well being is rooted in the kingdom moment of littleness and appreciating God's love and I can be free of comparison with others.

My recent experience is that I have beaten myself up because I was not as good as someone else and that is pride. Somehow I have to begin again and it is only after 48hrs of feeling foolishly depressed and self condemnatory that i am beginning to emerge.

Clearly my attitude to myself must affect or be reflected in the way I treat other people and I can only hoppe for God's grace to sort this out. To love and value someone else fairly and equally under God's love and grace and, although some friends will be closer and be part of ones calling somehow I want to have no favourites.

E&OE :-)

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And I have an observation about the thriving churches in your area, have you checked into urban, poor, pentecostal churches in the UK, US, and majority world?

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I loved this. It hit all the right spots. The song was beautiful. Thank you for opening up your heart.

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The song was beautiful. Thank you for opening up your heart.

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